Monday, I went to see the taxman. Given that my taxes are pretty simple (W2s, rent certificate, mutual fund), I probably could have filed online, but I got to hear straight up that I was getting ALL of my tax money back in rebate! AAAAND I qualified for the $300 economic stimulus package, which I will not use to stimulate the economy, but stimulate my retirement fund. Sorry, Prez!
Then, I set a land-speed record for spending my tax rebate. Not 10 minutes after leaving the tax office, I backed out of my parking spot in elation and whammed the front corner straight into a concrete pole. Shattered bumper, driver’s side turn signal kapowed, and a dinged-in fender. Guess we know where that money’s going to. Sigh.
An estimate from the shop that did the repairs the last time I smashed my car into something gave me a near heart attack. $300 for parts, hmm, sure ok, that will probably go down when they look for used stuff from junk yards… $450 for labor and body work, yeah I guess so, this is why we have savings accounts… NEARLY $600 for paint supplies and labor?! I’d mentioned that I was looking to do this, um, cheaply, and that paint wasn’t a thing. I don’t want my car to be pretty, I just want it safe. He insisted that paint was part of the deal, it’s their standards, their reputations. Hmm. Well, I’d better shop around.
I parked the car on the street and retained a half day of vacation for Friday afternoon to go out to other auto places and look for guys that would do the work sans paint; I’ll get a little paint kit from Napa and touch it up myself. I also didn’t feel too keen driving it about, since the turn signals were out and it looked like someone had ripped the front jaw off of the car. Amusingly, the busted up bumper was shoved in the back seat, clearly visible… because it’s the bumper of a car and is huge.
The week goes on, and I arrange with my friend Neil to take a walk around Lake Calhoun and chat this evening, with his girlfriend Erin also joining us. Neil arrives at my house before I do, and hands me what was on my car windshield. A ticket from a traffic cop from approximately an hour ago, citing me with a violation: “Failure to display current license plate/tabs. No permit visible. No front plate.” Cost? $105.
I flipped out pretty hard at that point, because there was no place for me to put my front license plate, THE BUMPER IS GONE. And, as my license plate number is printed on the ticket, it means he had to have walked around the car to the back and seen the bumper in my back seat with the license plate on it. I’m blown away that I got this ticket when my car was parked! It’s one thing to pull me over and say, “Miss, it’s dangerous to drive without a front bumper, and Minnesota law requires a plate to be displayed on the front and back of vehicles, I’m going to have to write you a ticket,” but the car wasn’t even mobile, and I don’t even live on a busy street!
The final gem of this was a cryptic section of the violation: “Tow Category: 4 HR.” TOW!? Why would they tow my car, and dear lord I did not want to find out and have to pay at the impound lot, which is officially the Least Happy Place On Earth. Of course, trying to get in touch with any government person was made of fail because the entire city shuts down at 5pm. Neil managed to get in touch with someone who was able to confirm that the tow notice meant they’d be coming for my car. I don’t have an off-street parking spot, but Erin was gracious enough to offer her spot up to me for the evening, while she parks on the street.
So tomorrow, I will work a half day, then go storming into the Government Center and demand justice, because this ticket is the biggest load of crap ever. Then I will retrieve the car from Erin’s, give her back her parking sticker, drop the car at my parent’s house to deal with at a later date, and then go have some damn drinks. If you need to find me, I’ll be at the bar, really really happy that this week is OVER.